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How Defying Perfection Helped Us Lose 130 lbs and Keep It Off for 10 Years






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Failure is Not the Enemy: How Embracing Mistakes Led to Sustained Weight Loss

Understanding the Role of Failure in Success

The road to weight loss is often paved with bumps, setbacks, and challenges. But the key to success lies in understanding that failure is not the enemy; it’s an opportunity for learning and growth. Too often, people embark on weight loss journeys with the misconception that perfection is necessary. However, seeking perfection can actually become a significant barrier. Our story demonstrates that by letting go of the need to be perfect and embracing failures as a part of the process, significant and lasting progress can be achieved.

Learning from Mistakes

Firstly, it is crucial to acknowledge that mistakes are inevitable. No one gets it perfect the first time. Just like Aaliyah’s song, “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again,” success requires perseverance. Each failure serves as a lesson in what doesn’t work, bringing you closer to discovering what does work for you personally. By shifting your perspective and viewing slip-ups as stepping stones rather than roadblocks, you lay the foundation for resilience and persistence on your journey.

The Myth of Perfect Diets

In the realm of dieting, the notion of perfection can often be misleading. There’s a tendency to overemphasize the importance of eating only “clean” or “healthy” foods to lose weight. However, the fundamental principle for weight loss is maintaining a calorie deficit, regardless of the types of food consumed. You can lose weight by eating steak and broccoli in a calorie deficit, just as you can gain weight by consuming them in a calorie surplus. The same applies to all foods, even indulgences like French fries. Therefore, there’s no need to fear certain foods or aim for an impeccable diet.

Setting Realistic Goals and Non-Negotiables

Instead of striving for motivation—which tends to be fleeting—focus on establishing non-negotiables. These are sustainable practices you can maintain consistently over time. For Kyle and me, two key non-negotiables were walking 15 minutes daily and measuring food portions for every meal. These commitments, although simple, played a pivotal role in our weight loss journey. By integrating manageable habits into your lifestyle, you create a framework that supports long-term success.

Embracing Hunger as Part of the Process

As you navigate this journey, it’s important to become comfortable with the feeling of hunger. Eating in a calorie deficit naturally results in hunger at times. Hunger can be managed by incorporating strategies like having protein at every meal to stabilize hunger hormones and selecting low-calorie, high-volume foods such as fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins. Yet, there will be moments where hunger persists, and that’s okay. Learning to coexist with hunger without succumbing to it is a vital skill in weight management.

The Power of Saying No

Another essential aspect of weight loss is mastering the art of saying no—to others and to yourself. As former people-pleasers, Kyle and I struggled with this initially, often using food as a means to manage emotions or avoid uncomfortable situations. However, by setting boundaries and sometimes declining social gatherings or tempting foods, we were able to protect our progress. While this shift resulted in losing some friendships, it also led us to find supportive companions who respected our choices.

Staying True to Your Goals

Furthermore, developing the ability to say no to oneself when tempted by unhealthy habits is just as crucial. Allowing occasional indulgences, like a cheat day once a month, helped us stay on track without feeling deprived. Afterward, it was important to return to our established routines, ensuring consistency and balance.

Adopting a Warrior Mindset

Ultimately, the journey of weight loss requires determination and a warrior mindset. It involves pushing through challenges and believing in your strength and capacity to overcome obstacles. Despite doubts about our own resilience, Kyle and I discovered a tenacity we didn’t know we had. Embrace your inner warrior and remain steadfast even when times get tough.

Redefining Weight Loss Success

Remember, weight loss is not just about the numbers on the scale. It’s about establishing a healthier relationship with food, cultivating self-compassion, and building a positive mindset. By focusing on these aspects, you create a sustainable path to success, not just a temporary fix.

If you’re wondering how we managed to achieve and maintain our weight loss, consider making small, manageable changes and consistently incorporating them into your lifestyle. Seek to develop habits that don’t feel like punishment but instead support your well-being and happiness. Let go of perfection and embrace the journey. As you move forward, know that you have the strength to succeed and that you are not alone.


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Dr José Cláudio Rangel MD - Brazil
Dr José Cláudio Rangel MD - Brazil
Professional with a deep background in occupational health, regulatory compliance, and the strategic development of digital health solutions. With extensive expertise in workplace safety evaluations, including developing specialized aptitude and inaptitude protocols for high-risk activities, José is also focused on integrating comprehensive health assessments tailored to the unique demands of various industries.

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