In a world obsessed with quick fixes and perfection, the path to sustainable weight loss is often littered with misconceptions and unrealistic expectations. For those of us who have journeyed from morbid obesity to healthier lives, the truth is far more complex than simply counting calories or following the latest diet trend. It’s about courageously facing imperfect moments, learning to sit with discomfort, and setting non-negotiables that work for a lifetime. Like many, Kyle and I have failed repeatedly and made countless mistakes, but each stumble brought us closer to understanding what truly worked for us. In this candid exploration, we share the hard-earned lessons that have fueled our transformation, from walking 15 minutes every day to redefining our social circles. Join us as we uncover the power of saying ‘no,’ embracing imperfection, and finding motivation in the quiet strength of consistency. This is not just our story—it might just be the perspective you’ve been seeking on your own journey to wellness.
Throw Perfection Out the Window
The pursuit of perfection can often be a barrier to success, especially in weight loss. The notion that everything must be done flawlessly is a myth that leads many to despair and ultimately failure. When Kyle and I embarked on our weight loss journey, we soon realized that mistakes weren’t just inevitable—they were essential. Every misstep was a lesson, guiding us closer to what truly worked for us as individuals.
We took inspiration from Aaliyah’s song, “Dust Yourself Off and Try Again.” This mindset became our mantra. Every fall was followed by a resolute effort to get back up, learn from our errors, and try again. This relentless pursuit, rather than a quest for perfection, propelled us forward.
Understanding Caloric Deficit
Attempting to adhere to unrealistic standards only sets you up for disappointment. Embrace imperfection. Understand that nobody is perfect, and striving for perfection in weight loss is a futile endeavor. The real goal should be finding what works for you and doing that consistently.
One fundamental aspect of weight loss that many overlook is the importance of a calorie deficit. It’s not just about eating “healthy foods.” Whether you’re indulging in steak and broccoli or savoring French fries, weight loss boils down to consuming fewer calories than you burn. Kyle and I learned this truth the hard way after trying numerous failed diets that didn’t focus on overall caloric intake.
The Myth of Motivation
Often, people search for motivation or willpower to fuel their weight loss journeys. However, both are unreliable sources of energy, prone to fluctuation. Instead, we focused on setting “non-negotiables” in our lives—simple, sustainable habits that we could maintain. For example, we committed to walking for 15 minutes every single day, regardless of the weather.
Embracing Hunger
Experiencing hunger is a natural part of being in a calorie deficit. It signals that your body is burning fat and heading towards your goals. Learning to coexist with hunger, rather than fear it, was crucial for us. We adopted strategies to manage hunger pangs, like incorporating more protein into our meals and choosing low-calorie, high-volume foods to feel fuller longer.
Finding Joy Beyond Food
We discovered that finding non-food-related pleasures was essential for our mental health and well-being. Simple activities like reading a book or walking our dogs helped shift our focus away from food and towards more fulfilling experiences, making the journey smoother and less food-centric.
The Power of Saying No
One of the hardest lessons was learning to say no—both to others and to ourselves. As former people-pleasers, we initially struggled with setting boundaries. This was a crucial skill to learn because saying no enabled us to avoid temptations and stay true to our goals. Whether it was declining unhealthy offerings at social gatherings or resisting the urge to overeat during weekends, saying no became a powerful tool in our arsenal.
Facing Judgement and Losing Toxic Friends
Making lifestyle changes can often lead to judgment and the loss of friendships. We experienced this firsthand as our social circle shrank. The friends we lost were often those whose companionship was based on unhealthy eating habits. Though painful, this pruning process led us to a support network that truly understood and respected our journey. Surrounding ourselves with positive influences made a significant difference in sustaining our weight loss.
Navigating Personal Boundaries
Sometimes, saying no extended to our own desires. Weekends without structured meals could easily mean slipping into old habits. Kyle and I would often crave comfort foods and relaxation, but we learned to balance these moments with discipline. By allowing ourselves rare cheat days, we satisfied cravings in a controlled manner, ensuring we didn’t derail our progress.
A Lifelong Commitment
Weight loss isn’t a punishment; it’s a commitment to oneself. By focusing on sustainable changes rather than drastic actions, Kyle and I were able to shed over 130 pounds and maintain our new weight for over a decade. Our journey emphasizes the importance of consistency, patience, and self-compassion. It’s about making incremental changes and sticking to them.
Conclusion
Throughout our journey, we’ve learned the significance of embracing imperfection, understanding the science of a caloric deficit, and setting strong boundaries. By sharing our story and insights, we hope to inspire others battling similar challenges. Remember, weight loss is more than a number on the scale—it’s a transformation of both heart and mindset. Stay strong, stay committed, and above all, stay true to yourself. You’re capable of achieving more than you think, and we’re here rooting for you every step of the way.
Fail often, learn from mistakes, and embrace imperfection. Discover the power of consistency, saying ‘no,’ and the journey beyond numbers on the scale.
