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3 Common Weight Loss Mistakes That Held Me Back—And How I Finally Dropped 130 lbs!






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Embarking on a weight loss journey is often a road fraught with numerous challenges, setbacks, and revelations. For years, I found myself trapped in a cycle of frustration and self-sabotage, repeatedly making the same three pivotal mistakes that stood between me and my goal of shedding unwanted weight. It wasn’t until I reconsidered my approach to nutrition, nurtured a newfound compassion for myself, and reframed the very questions I was asking, that I was able to break free from those self-imposed barriers and successfully lose 130 lbs, maintaining this transformation for over nine years. In this blog, I’ll delve deeper into these missteps, sharing insights and strategies that can help shift your perspective and propel your weight loss journey toward lasting success. Get ready to explore the power of balanced eating, the importance of self-kindness, and the transformative effect of asking the right questions.

1. Unbalanced Nutrition: A Recipe for Failure

Initially, my approach to nutrition was a minefield of dietary restrictions and misinformed tactics. Driven by the desire to achieve an “ideal” image, I found myself heavily restricting carbohydrates, skipping meals, and avoiding foods unfamiliar to me. I was under the illusion that cutting out entire food groups and reducing my intake would somehow accelerate my weight loss. However, these drastic measures only led to nutrient deficiencies, depletion of energy, and impaired cognitive function—factors which, in turn, drove poor decision-making and insatiable cravings.

Through trial and error, I learned that sustainable weight loss wasn’t about deprivation but balance. Here’s what I discovered about nutrition:

  • Carbohydrates are essential: They provide energy and support brain function, crucial for making rational, healthful choices.
  • Protein is a cornerstone: It’s vital for muscle growth and maintenance, especially if your goal is to build a lean, fit physique.
  • Balance is key: Incorporating a variety of foods, including healthy fats, vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, is fundamental to supporting overall health and satiety.

By adopting portion control and gradually introducing new foods to my palate, I developed a sustainable, balanced diet that supported both my physical needs and my weight loss goals. For those interested in the specific meals and portions that contributed to my success, I’ve compiled everything in my weight loss ebook, “The First 50.”

2. The Importance of Self-Compassion

Another substantial barrier to my progress was the negative self-talk that pervaded my mindset. At 275 lbs, I became my own harshest critic, continually undermining my efforts with a barrage of self-deprecating thoughts. This lack of compassion only fueled a vicious cycle of guilt, restrictive dieting, and inevitable failure.

Transitioning from self-loathing to self-love proved indispensable in my journey. Embracing self-compassion allowed me to:

  • Give myself the grace to make mistakes and learn from them.
  • Make healthier choices not out of punishment, but out of a desire to care for and nurture my body.
  • Establish a realistic and flexible approach to dieting, allowing small indulgences without guilt.

A real-life illustration of this shift occurred when I was unwell but craving a comforting hot chocolate. Instead of denying myself, I adjusted my meal plan to accommodate the treat, swapping regular bacon for turkey bacon. This small act of kindness not only satisfied my craving but demonstrated the power of self-compassion in fostering a more balanced, sustainable diet.

3. Asking the Right Questions

For years, my weight loss strategy revolved around a fundamental question: “What can I take away to lose weight?” This deprivation mentality repeatedly set me up for failure, stripping my diet down to unrealistic, unsustainable measures.

Reframing my approach involved changing the question to “What can I add to my lifestyle to support my weight loss goals?” This new perspective allowed me to add value rather than simply remove joy:

  • Enhancing meals with nutritious additions, like loading burgers with vegetables or opting for whole-grain buns, provided variety and satisfaction.
  • Maintaining enjoyable aspects of my lifestyle, such as weekly date nights at Harvey’s, became feasible by simply incorporating healthier options instead of eliminating them.
  • Exploring additional ways to enrich my daily habits, like adding a nutritious coffee creamer for a guilt-free cappuccino experience.

This strategic shift from restriction to enrichment not only made my weight loss journey more enjoyable but also more successful and sustainable.

Through these pivotal changes in nutrition, mindset, and goal-setting, I unlocked the door to achieving and maintaining my ideal weight. Remember that weight loss is not purely physical; it’s closely intertwined with the heart and mind. By fostering self-love, adopting balanced nutrition, and asking the constructive questions, you can revolutionize your approach and inch closer to your weight loss aspirations. Stay persistent and compassionate with yourself—your journey is your own, and every small step is worth celebrating.


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Hedila Tavares Ramos MD - Brazil
Hedila Tavares Ramos MD - Brazil
"With over 30 years of experience in clinical medicine, I am dedicated to guiding patients on their journey to better health and sustainable weight loss. My expertise combines proven medical knowledge with a holistic approach to weight management, prioritizing safe, effective methods for achieving lasting wellness. I believe in empowering patients with the right tools and support to reach their goals through balanced nutrition, lifestyle modifications, and individualized care. Let’s work together to create a healthier, happier you."

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